My kid is talking to strangers in online games — what should I do?

You're not alone in worrying about this

In Ofcom's 2025 survey of UK families, talking to strangers was parents' top gaming worry (62%), ahead of bullying, game content and pressure to buy things. The same report found that 31% of 8–17-year-olds who game online chat with people they don't know while playing (Ofcom, Children and Parents report 2025).

Most of those chats are harmless — teammates, kids their own age. But the US National Center for Missing & Exploited Children says online enticement happens across platforms, "including online gaming" (NCMEC CyberTipline data). So the goal isn't panic. It's making sure your kid only talks to people you're comfortable with, and knows what to do when something feels off.

Why your phone's settings don't cover this

On iPhone, Allowed Contacts (called Communication Limits before iOS 27) is under Settings → Family → [child] → Allowed Contacts. It covers only Phone, Messages and FaceTime — not chat inside Roblox, Fortnite, Discord or other apps (Apple: Choose who your child can communicate with).

Game age ratings don't cover it either. The ESRB's Users Interact notice means players may be exposed to unfiltered chat and user content — the rating is about the game, not the other players (ESRB ratings guide). Each game has its own chat controls, so you set them one by one.

Who can contact my child? Settings by platform

Settings stack. Epic's chat controls don't cover console party chat, so a kid playing Fortnite on Xbox, PlayStation or Switch needs the console's settings too (Epic parental controls). On Switch 2, the Communicating with Others setting doesn't cover GameChat — set that separately (Nintendo Support).

A few details worth knowing

• Fortnite has age caps. Under 10, the most open chat setting is Friends Only; under 13, it's Friends, team members, & connections. Nobody still allows preset safe phrases (Epic parental controls).
• Roblox kids who haven't done an age check have chat off. Roblox uses their entered birthday instead and places them in Roblox Kids (under 9) or Roblox Select (9+) (Roblox Help; Roblox newsroom, May 2026).
• Roblox friends: you can block, not remove. A parent can't delete a friend from a kid's list, but can block and report them from the Friends section (Roblox Safety FAQs).
• Discord's Family Center doesn't show messages. It shows the last 7 days of new friends, who your teen messaged or called, and servers — never message content. Your teen can disconnect it at any time (Discord Help).
• PlayStation's Restrict still allows pre-written in-game messages (PlayStation Support).

What to do today

1. Ask, don't accuse. Sit with your kid while they play and ask who their game friends are and how they met. Keep the game in their hands — kids who fear losing a game tend to stop telling you things.
2. Look at their friends list together. On Roblox, your linked parent account shows Friends on your kid's page. Anyone neither of you knows: block and report.
3. Set chat to friends only (or off) on every game and console they use, using the table above.
4. Agree on the one rule. If anyone asks to move to another app, keep a secret, or send pictures, they tell you — and they won't be in trouble. The FBI says to be suspicious when someone met in a game asks to move to a different platform (FBI).
5. Check again in a week. Look at the friends list and settings once more; new friends show up fast.

When it's more than chat

Lawsuits allege that predators meet kids in Roblox games and then move them to apps like Snapchat and Discord (Kentucky AG complaint). Roblox blocks links in chat, and since June 2026 users under 16 can't share or view social media links on profiles and game pages (Roblox, Jun 2026). A request to "add me on Discord" is still the moment to step in.

If someone has asked your child for sexual images, sent them sexual content, or is threatening them, don't delete the messages. Take screenshots, block the account, and report it to NCMEC's CyberTipline or the FBI at 1-800-CALL-FBI or tips.fbi.gov (FBI). See our guides on signs of grooming in online games and what to do about sextortion right now.

Does turning off chat fix it?

It closes the biggest door, but not every one. Strangers can still play alongside your kid, and some games are built around meeting other players. That's why it also helps to know which games your kid spends time in — on Roblox, your parent account shows your kid's Top games from the last week (Roblox Help), and you can block any game until they turn 16.